I am consumed by lust

I am consumed by anger

I am consumed by greed

I am consumed by gluttony

I am in trouble mentally

I am in pain physically

I am guilty of blasphemy

I am an artist.

Who are you?

Think about Mary. Imagine for a moment, the mother of God. Can you imagine? Mary, the mother of God, full of grace, the Lord is with her. What she went through, the type of people she encountered. How she had to flee from Herod's men. Her son, the people she faced, the life she lived.

Is she still in body now? Could we meet her in person today? Will she return in body? Has she already? Would you recognize her? Could you face her? Stand before her? Can you see the Holy Spirit? Can you recognize it? Do you have it?

Have you ever seen the Holy Spirit?

What comes from your heart? Would you know if it were evil? Evil comes from the hearts of men. Do you ever recognize it within you?

I don't believe I could recognize her.

My paintings are painful. I hate them because I struggle to capture the earth, water, sun, and air. I struggle to capture the landscape. I stop painting when I'm sick of it, or like it, I can't tell which it is.

These paintings are just for me, though, I like to believe they're also for someone specific, ordered from a different time and place we aren't familiar with. Another dimension.

In 2025 I attempted to paint everyday for the entire year to see how much of an artist I am. I started this attempt in December 2024. It is now December 2025. I completed about 25 paintings, almost all are nine inch by 12. I stopped nearly completely by August. How much of an artist am I?

I believe I outgrew my space. I believe I require more space to accommodate my expression. My emotions felt too violent to continue. Too much for a nine by twelve canvas, I required more of a destruction room, a larger area to work with. It is for those reasons why I felt I had to stop. Its for these reasons why I intend to go bigger. 30 by 60 inch in 2026.

Thank you. I hope you enjoy the paintings.